Let’s pretend I detailed some interesting anecdote that relates to what I’m going to talk about next. But, if you’re like me, I’ve already wasted your time. Here it goes:

• There is enough time to do what we want to do.
• Most Americans, on average, spend 4-5 hours watching TV.
• I’m almost done in the first year of teaching.
• My girlfriend took me to Alinea for my 30th birthday.
• I have a blog but fail to post.
• I’ve written everyday this year. I started with 30 minutes and am now up to 65 minutes. On what? My novel. If that sounds too pretentious — my book.

Some observations:

• For every increase in articles related to “life hacks” or “productivity,” there is a decrease in the actual amount of productive hours.
• The first person waiting in a protected left turn needs to be a leader and be the first off the line. Think 101st Airborne, Normandy, 1944. You have to be jumping out of that C47 as quickly as possible. So, get off your phone.
• In general, get off your phone.
• Life isn’t about happiness but how one reacts to unfortunate events. Smile when death looks at you.
• Tomatoes on sandwiches and cheeseburgers are disgusting. If I was a presidential candidate for 2020, this would be my platform. A tomato on a burger is like Kanye stealing the mic from Taylor Swift. Don’t believe me? Try it yourself.